Past, Present, Permanent

It's the first time that we
enrolled here in AC
some came alone and some with
friends from their primary school
they've all different stories
it's something like huan ting and jo-ann
but this time
with the sun
in our eyes
peter, sherilyn and khai
they said "hi"
and we followed so,

we came together here in febuary
and made new friends
the girls were many and the guys were meek
but in couple dance we paired
it took us many day to know our names
but we still could forget
and get laughed at
just like
when we were grooving to the beat
of "baby-baby" and we went out of step
but I guess
that Shruikan still owns your face
and it was the best time I ever had

but we were all lacking time
we chose our subjects and went
to different classes and
made many more new friends
we weren't all that close
we started to drift apart
we celebrated birthdays that were always once in a while
so we planned some OG outings but not all could come along
it's just sad, 'cause,

we came together here in febuary
and made new friends
we started hanging out and making fun
of our shirts and shorts and hair
it's been so long since we learned all our names
but no one can forget
the time we spent
talking 'bout the days of history
reminiscing those days in MGS
but I guess
that Shruikan still owns your face
and those days were the best I ever had

da da da da da da da da da da
da da da da da da da da dada da da
oooh...oh..ohh..oooh (you know this part)

and this will be the last time we will see
krazy khai and sher and pretty pete
they're gonna take their A's in a few weeks
and they have their own targets to meet
and though this year they've never left us alone
we still all know that she have to go on
to spread their wings and reach the skies... oh,

we came together here in febuary
and made new friends
we played some games and screamed our cheers and we
held each other's hands
it's been so long since we saw everyone
but we cannot forget
our OGL's
because
they stood beside us all the way
and taught us when it's safe to climb the gate
any-way
our Shruikan still owns your face
and these friends are the very best
our Shruikan still owns your face
and you friends are the very best
and Shruikan still owns your face
and you guys are the very best I have...


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Disclaimer:


This weblog entry contains confidential and/or privileged information. If you do not understand what the entry is about, please notify me IMMEDIATELY. Legal action will be taken against you. I am not liable for your being offended, intended or otherwise, regarding the contents of this weblog entry.


-----------


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这个博客里面有秘密的信息。 如果你不明白这些信息，请立刻通知我。我会上法庭控告你。如果我得罪你，那也不是我的问题，不管我故意还是不故意的。

i think i let out too much info in my previous post. i don't want her to find out now. i want her to find it out be herself. when the time is right. and i am working on it.

can i Count on you? xD


-----------


Disclaimer:


This weblog entry contains confidential and/or privileged information. If you do not understand what the entry is about, please notify me IMMEDIATELY. Legal action will be taken against you. I am not liable for your being offended, intended or otherwise, regarding the contents of this weblog entry.


-----------


免责声明：


这个博客里面有秘密的信息。 如果你不明白这些信息，请立刻通知我。我会上法庭控告你。如果我得罪你，那也不是我的问题，不管我故意还是不故意的。

i need to rant.

who do i go to talk to?

not a counsellor, definitely. i mean, who rants to strangers who think they understand you.

not this god fellow either. i might as well talk to the wall. and that's worse than talking to strangers.

i do have monologues. in fact, almost every post in this blog is directed to only one person: me.

but i am still alive today.

although i feel that there isn't much time left for me.

i hope i contract some stupid cancer or something that will instantly kill in like 3 years time or smth. at least i will start having a sense of urgency and start acting on things that are most important to me.

which does not include studies.

----

can anyone's life hold more irony than mine?

my parents are proficient in almost every single chinese dialect, but the most important one, mandarin, they cannot make it.

they engaged a tuition teacher for me since primary 1, and yet in pri 6, my most important year, the teacher left. reason being, i was too apathetic.

so, a china national replaced her. i got a c for chinese, the lowest passing grade. assuming a "minimum hand" (91, 80, 50, 91) i would have gotten 226. my actual score was 229. if my chinese was only very slightly better (B average) i would have been in "a better school". as it was, this put me in "a lousy school", mshs.

mshs sec 1 was uneventful. sec 2 was the time when the entanglement of friendship, love, and difficult decisions kicked in. sec 3 was the culimnation. i nearly had to drop amath. i nearly could not get into a jc. i was doomed to be a true 4G student. if i did not mess up my first "love", i would not have collapsed due the the second one.

sec 4. i started the year with my subjects intact. appointed cca president. my job scope was non-existent so i followed my job scope very closely. was ineffective in all areas of leadership. there was a rising star smong my juniors. my (lack of) actions helped prepare him for his reign this year. if i were any more effective, the situation could be so different now.

still sec 4. studies-wise, i was not faring too well. 15 points L1B4 for 1st prelim. 22 if chinese (D7) was added in. my amath was E8. i was forced to use chinese (in fact you can enter jc with chinese D7, so my score for L1R5 is valid). obtained 12 points for prelim 2. almost a halving of my score, because of an effective math tutor and a very unlucky chinese tutor (because she couldn't leech my money for the next half of the year). my lowest in the L1R5 was B4 for english. was 5th in class when my disastrous prelim 1 results were factored in. it was quite respectable. but the irony is that if i did any better for prelim 1, i would have gotten a higher ranking, and i would not have been as motivated to mug for O's.

O levels. no study groups for me. self-mugged all the way. i want to give advice to my juniors on how i scored well, but the problem is, i did not put much thought into it. i feel that this was the reason i had no pressure and scored, but how do i tell them that they "don't need to think, don't need to study"? in most people, that's a formula for self-destruction. irony here is that i played my way through the exam period, and that got me my score.

12 january 2009. i went on to the stage against all odds. i would have been happy with twice the points, but i had to score six. i was already deciding on poly, or overseas foundation, based on my self-estimated score of 15. if i got 12, i would have made an easier choice and went straight to poly, ngee ann poly, biotech/med. but no. six made me journey to all sorts of jcs because i was afraid of "making the wrong choice". i could not join my friends in cj or ny. i did not like aj. nj was a long shot. hence, i was resigned to AC. i felt so alone. first it was lianhua, only one from my kindergarten. then mshs, only one from lps. and now, being the only one from mshs in yet another school was really depressing.

but, 7 other 6A kids enrolled there in addition to 5 mshs boys. i was overjoyed when i calculated those statistics. i was no longer a lonerkid.

oh really?

orientation. in an og with 12 mgs girls and only 7 guys, interaction was really low. there was love blossoming in another og, but i could not even build rapport with a single guy. in fact, at that time i was closer to my ogls than the others.

then came subject-choosing. if i had closer friends in the og, i would not have taken geog. alternatively, someone else would have taken geog with me. but no. i chose the alien science combo. at least someone did accompany me to my geog lectures. he's very nice. but after a while, i was alone again.

then i started taking notice of her. she didn't seem to talk much, just like me. but something just pulled me to her. she and her friend came for the sgc "intro lecture". i brought sam along. we played bridge and messed up the boards and hands. it was enjoyable.

she did try out for other ccas, but in the end, sgc remained. sam went into soccer, then council, then out of soccer. sgc took a really back seat for him. partner selection time came around. here's the stupid thing: if sam was still participating fully, i would have partnered him. and i would have lost the opportunity i'm having now. it's like dismantling bridges to dam the river.

somehow the river was quite erratic. took on NE council because i liked the name. it was only after i joined that i realised that i'm still not singaporean. a malaysian in the NE council? NE rep still ok, cuz i was appointed (even so, i was appointed because my name started with N), but council? what a joke.

and it was precisely because i had a commitment in both my class comm and the council that i had to miss the first bridge competition of the year. i was so angry at myself. she partnered her classmate for it, but i did not only lose out on the saturdays; all the practice sessions prior to that i was unable to play with her. it broke my heart.

subsequently i realised that bridge should be my number 1 cca, because it was for her. there was no other choice. elections for the NE council came by. i was half hoping that some leadership position would be assigned to me. in fact, i was in the running for vp, but they re-voted and i remained a normal member after that. it was not a cause for celebration, but i was relieved nonetheless. a leadership position would dampen my chances for another in sgc, my first love.

two more competitions passed. i got the chance to partner her and i tried to make the most out of it for us. but i was not too proficient yet so in both cases we lost spectacularly. and the thing is, it did bring both of us slightly closer, but i actually developed more rapport with my seniors.

sgc interview and elections came and went. i was named president yet again. but for that time, it was just a title. the seniors left soon after, and the sending-off event was conceived but never birthed. my first failure. then the cgs comp; i forgot about the chocolates. phail number 2. surprisingly no one noticed. but then cca did not take such a high priority because the biggest phail of all was approaching.

health week. or, hell week, as i like to call it. i was in charge. you can say, president of health week. and i had no idea how to be a president. i don't even have any idea how to be a class chairman. i was unable to effectively work and that bashed up my rep with kwok. tried to redeem myself with the report but a minor major screw up concerning a little-accessed pigeon hole and email inbox resulted in us not being able to win any commendation from the FOS team. i caused my entire team of 5 to fall under kwok. that was bad, because in his world of no-double standards, it's highly recommended to stay out of his bad books. i hope you caught the double irony in this paragraph.

promos came. AABACS. will talk more about this in another post. it's late already.

and today, phail number 3 for cca. open house proposal could not be signed, but i had to submit. at least, i can sort it out tomorrow. not as big a phail as health week. yet.

and to make full circle, i am about to take what could be my final chinese exam in my life. the only reason why it won't be, is because i never foresaw an end to my chinese struggle.

somebody get a towel please, this life of mine is dripping with irony.


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Disclaimer:


This weblog entry contains confidential and/or privileged information. If you do not understand what the entry is about, please notify me IMMEDIATELY. Legal action will be taken against you. I am not liable for your being offended, intended or otherwise, regarding the contents of this weblog entry.


-----------


免责声明：


这个博客里面有秘密的信息。 如果你不明白这些信息，请立刻通知我。我会上法庭控告你。如果我得罪你，那也不是我的问题，不管我故意还是不故意的。

Boy or a girl to text you last?
boy

Are you afraid of falling in love?
yes

Name something you are doing tomorrow:
fucking up my life

Does your phone normally ring in the middle of the night?
no

To whom did you last give the finger to?
benji lol

How many hours did you sleep last night?
2-6 u go count

Ever given your all to someone who walked away?
almost all i had

Is there anyone you trust who you shouldn't?
how would i fucking know

Is there someone you can't stop thinking about ?
no. i can stop anytime. i just don't want to

When someone walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
i make sure they don't hit the door nor the low ceiling.

If you're being extremely quiet, what's it mean?
it means i have already answered this question, damn you

Do you think the legal drinking age should be changed?
yeah. set it at like 60 or smth when all the livers are gg already

Something you really want right now?
be prepared for my upcoming exams.

Do you think you're old?
too old for my own good. i should remain in k2 or smth

Are you a jealous person?
not really, but desperately i want to be one

Where have you lived throughout your life?
heaven, because hell can't be this bad

Do you wear contacts?
no, i have all my contacts in my phone

What were you doing an hour ago?
fucking up my life. why do you ask?

Are you a morning person or a night person?
if you see me at night, you'd be lucky to see the morning

What are you wearing?
a frown

If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
yes

If you could seek revenge on someone would you?
yes

What did your last text message say and who was it from?
confidential pls

Do you have a gay friend?
no

Who do you live with?
demons

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you?
no

Have you ever been around someone who was high?
4g was always high

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
phlegh!

Did you have a good birthday last year?
good in the sense that i was still alive to celebrate it

Is your hair curly?
is your dick curly?

Last person you were in a car with?
a fucked-up excuse for a human

Do you like someone that doesn't know you like them?
i don't know if she knows

Do you own a little black dress?
is your face a pussy?

What are you most looking forward to?
owning a little black dress, so i can strangle some people with it.

Is there something you want to tell someone?
yes. WHY THE FUCK DOES PW EXIST?

What were you doing at 12 this morning?
that was 1 hour ago

Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
people who have no motivation to do something but still does it. they are wasting their time.

Is there someone you will never forget?
yes, but i forget who le

Is there a girl that knows everything or mostly everything about you?
no. no one will ever know me that well. i am predictable only up till a very small extent. just try

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
no

Where were you last night?
in heaven, told u already

Do you think you're smart?
are you kiddin? i can answer almost all your questions!

Do you have unlimited texting?
yeah hehe

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a "A"?
A for A-wrong-choice

Are you close with your mother?
no

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
because i loved her

Have you ever held hands with anyone?
yeah duh how to kiss before holding hands one lol

Looking forward to the next couple months?
i hope they really are "couple months" lol

Have you changed this year?
negative growth

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a "C"?
C for CWAL (can't wait any longer)

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
yes, unfortunately so. haha first time being asked this question. interesting.

Have your parents ever caught you drinking?
they cannot do anything about it.

Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to?
no.

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
well we didn't really kiss goodbye... but no. i'm saving them for rainy days. damn my life is fucking ironic

Have you ever crawled through a window?
sat on my window sill with my legs hanging out of my house

Is there a secret you've never told your parents?
fucking hell, a secret is not meant to be told

Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
Error: Invalid argument

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
then only will i believe in virgin births

Do you know anyone named Matt?
ya matthew

Last beverage you consumed?
milk

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
some blue kentaurus

Is there anything stressing you out currently?
finishing this quiz on time.

Last CD you played:
miserable at best, on the cd a lesson in romantics i think

Do you text in class?
who doesn't?

Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
no. what?

Who did you last eat with?
sameer

Is the sun shining?
is your butt glowing?

Are you happy with your life right now?
how happy would you be with a glowing butt?

Last thing you watched on youtube?
some song mv

How many hours of sleep do you get every night?
1-18

Are you currently jealous?
no, but i want to be

What were you doing at 10pm Thursday night?
still fucking up my life

What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
get mc

Have you ever wanted something you couldn't have?
gameboy

Have you ever in anyway, been betrayed by someone you trust?
mostly it's something

Is there someone you want to see right now?
yes. mrs choong so that she can do my wr for me and get my members a confirmed A and me a confirmed B

Midnight, who were you texting?
scones asking if anyone wanted to pon gp with me

When is the next time you will see the person you like?
morning assembly

When was the last time you cried really badly?
dsfchfncfhndhnjdcjhdcs

Are you currently frustrated with someone?
nihnicrhnuhcrhnrchniu

You want to get married?
yeah. i need a maid. i mean a wife.

Is there someone of the opposite sex you tell everything to?
i will tell the important things, but not the crucial things.

Is your dad a jerk?
are you alive?

Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
no. regrets are superficial. in fact, nothing is more than superficial.


-----------


Disclaimer:


This weblog entry contains confidential and/or privileged information. If you do not understand what the entry is about, please notify me IMMEDIATELY. Legal action will be taken against you. I am not liable for your being offended, intended or otherwise, regarding the contents of this weblog entry.


-----------


免责声明：


这个博客里面有秘密的信息。 如果你不明白这些信息，请立刻通知我。我会上法庭控告你。如果我得罪你，那也不是我的问题，不管我故意还是不故意的。