Past, Present, Permanent

bronze. one fucking crappy bronze. for all those months of hard work and late nights, for all those cancelled tuitions, i get a fucking bronze. almost half a year of cramming, just for one fucking bronze. and who is to blame??

it's always like this. no matter how hard i try, it just doesn't work out. nothing goes right. nothing ever goes right. i cost my teammates their gold. maybe i'm just destined to be the biggest loser. and lose i shall.

hey it's not all bad though. some other deserving group got their gold. and it has made me realise that i should just aim to prop up the table. nothing else counts. whether i get COP or anything else, the only person genuinely concerned about it is myself. how many other people can truthfully say that they will feel the same loss as me? none. how many others can swear that they will feel happy when i get a gold? none. unless there's something in it for them.

relationships don't count for much anymore. friendships can only lead to ignorance. feelings only invite criticism. actions result in separation. what more can i say? this world is screwed because i'm in it. and JUST DEAL WITH THAT FACT. or you can leave me alone if you have no insults to throw in this direction.


i cannot believe i was an optimistic person. now i've learnt my lesson. even when you are at the bottom, a hole can always open beneath you and make you fall deeper. that is the sad fact of life.

ok so the presentation was okay. at least we did not screw it up as i feared. BUT something else was the problem. our experiments. the ones we completed one whole month ago. which i feel is worse than screwing up the ppt. ah well, my work is never right.

so i'm waiting for the results. i'm hoping for a gold, for my team. but for myself, i know i don't deserve even a COP. after all, i made more mistakes than bacteria colonies.

exhibition's on friday. whoever's free, come down to AJC at yio chu kang and take a look at the other groups' innovative ideas. it starts at 2, i think.

wednesday, 16th april. elementz is here

was out at the band concert last night. not bad i guess, i managed to study a bit during the intermission and the CO part. the band was just too noisy. i tried putting in ears but had to blast it when they were playing. and when they stopped, people 3 rows away could hear greenday singing. so it wasn't a good idea.

nothing much happened yesterday la. just the concert that stood out in an ordinary average day. now i'm in school and waiting for the rest to come. chung said he'll come at 9.30. dean said 9. now it's 9.15 so i still have to wait.

been refining my lines the whole time i was here. i think the rest are in class. what for, i don't know. school only starts at 11.20, and they come at 8?!

...

apparently some people are not happy about me not being happy. i don't see why. less happiness for me means there's more to go around. so actually i'm doing a good thing. wow, what a realization.

there was a piece last night about noah's ark. apparently he tried to save every animal on the planet. well, he missed one animal.

and that animal has just finished his blog post.