Past, Present, Permanent

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do? (Oh, oh)
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you (from you)

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.

Ah, ah
Oh, oh
Ah, ah

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you.
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

Come break me down (bury me, bury me)
Break me down (bury me, bury me)
Break me down (bury me, bury me)

(You say you wanted more)
What if I wanted to break...?
(What are you waiting for?)
Bury me, bury me
(I'm not running from you)
What if I
What if I
What if I
What if I
Bury me, bury me

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Jared Leto described the meaning of the song as, "It's really about a relationship with yourself. A confrontation at a crossroads" — coming face-to-face with who you really are."

i think this song describes me best.

*i know now, this is who i really am inside*

if you don't care, then there's nothing left to say. you can delete me from your contacts if you want. rest assured that i won't cuz i CAN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO. its just too bad you pushed the wrong button at the wrong time. you hit me when i'm already cracking bad. now i have been smashed, and you feel that sense of accomplishment, the sense of victory that you destroyed a human soul. so just keep on gloating. isn't there NOTHING i can do about it? isn't it nice to tread on something that doesn't fight back?! well GUESS WHAT? your doormat has GONE

just read sam's blog. it seems that he has already stepped down from cca. it made me wonder: when will my time be?

haven't been giving it much thought these few days. but i guess i have to start sometime.

cca has been part of my life since primary three. correction: robotics has been my whole life since primary three. life without it... doesn't seem right. i wonder...

two days ago, wednesday. i went to cca for what i presume may very well be the last time ever. it felt weird leaving the place, knowing that i may not be stepping back in as part of A.I. anymore. but nothing can be done. life has to go on, and i cannot miss the boat.

what will i be leaving behind? let's see...

``a dirty clubroom.
-must get them to clean it soon. it's really bursting at the seams with dust and grime.

``the track i designed.
-the program's in one of the coms. hopefully someone will think of completing it.

``my friends.
-what more can i say? they'd better behave when i'm gone.

``the old racer, christened Magikarp.
-under my care, it almost matched up to the new ones. i wonder who will be as willing as me to inherit that pile of potential.

``dota.
-it's mostly deleted, but there's always an option to play it from thumbdrive. i wonder what will come next.

``my chem file.
-it may come in handy for someone. it's empty btw. may not need it anymore as i have a new one already.

``a broken laptop.
-my fault. used it too much and too often.

``lots of songs.
-most of them are in the broken laptop. there are more in rufus' one though.

``my footprints.
-look closely at the racer tracks. they're all over the place.

``micromouse award from SRG.
-the first award under my "reign". gratz to kc and his team.

``broken trophies.
-statues of achievements. with half the top coming off and the other half lost in the trash. we break more trophies than records.

``my money.
-this is tentative. but i will give up $100 to ensure the A.I. battleship stays afloat.

--------------------------------------

that's not the only thing worth pondering about. there's also the issue of who will take the helm after my demise. given the current positions of the ExCo...

Chairman: Shaun Seah
Vice-Chairman: Ren Xin
Asst Vice-Chairman: Gerard Bong
Secratary-Treasurer: Marcus Tay

Racer In-Charge: Niam Xing Rong
Asst. R.I.C.: Keith Chia

Lego In-Charge: Gea Chong Keat
Asst. L.I.C.: ---dunno who can fit the bill

Micromouse In-Charge: Woo Khong Chin
Asst. M.I.C.: Tan Yon Han

----------------

these are my sugestions. it varies a bit from the curent ExCo members list. i have to get ms neo to finalise it with me one day. that, i think, will be my last and final deed for A.I.

no batt again. and i'm on the bus. hopefully i can finish my post before the batt goes out.

not much to say today. xcept that my alim3ntary canal is giving m3 probl3ms. sudd3dly i had a big tummy ach3 during bio. and i miss3d th3 dis3ction of th3 clitoria. was looking foward to that. sadly. at l3ast i got to touch th3 n3ctar. didn't dar3 to tast3 it though. i didnt want mor3 tummy probl3ms.

funny thing was, inst3ad of scalp3ls, th3y provid3d shaving blad3s. thos3 fkin sharp kinds. as in, r3ally sharp. but a bit rusty. it could caus3 an inf3ction in th3 3v3nt of a cut. too bad for som3on3. put chlorophyll! it has b33n prov3n (court3sy of Dr. N. Lum) to b3 anti-bact3rial.

which r3minds m3, th3 post3r will hav3 to b3 print3d tmr. and i hav3 to finish 3diting tonight.

oh fuck. i hav3 tuition tomorrow. shit. who's going to do my hom3work? di3 di3 di3 di3 di3 di3 di3 di3 di3 di3

now 3v3rything's cramping up again. mayb3 i can find tim3 to compl3t3 som3things on my to-do list. hop3fully th3 most important on3s will b3 compl3t3d soon3r. too bad 3v3rything is of 3qual importanc3.

i n33d a slav3.

12 points. i k33p on r3minding mys3lf. it all boils down to that. and if i don't boil it prop3rly, nothing us3ful is going to com3 out of m3.

task-list:

``today
-finish up post3r.
-look thru ppt
-finish chin3s3 hom3work

``saturday
-tuition in th3 morning
-r3vis3 maths
-r3vis3 ss
-r3vis3 bio

``sunday
-r3vis3 maths
-r3vis3 g3og/ch3m
-guitar at 4pm
-r3vis3 physics

just do it